A juvenile is hit by a minivan in Monday morning. He’ll be OK… before he goes to court. Seriously.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I’m pretty sure that getting hit by a minivan is enough to make this kid learn a good lesson but hey, let’s add some criminal charges to make sure he learns his lesson.<\/p>\n
Wow.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A juvenile is hit by a minivan in Monday morning. He’ll be OK… before he goes to court. Seriously.<\/p>\n
[…]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Well, that'll teach you!","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20,32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8093","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-newscentral","category-roanoke","odd"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pwqFk-26x","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8141,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2013\/12\/07\/nothing-to-see-here-people\/","url_meta":{"origin":8093,"position":0},"title":"Nothing to see here, people…","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"December 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Move along... move along. Cruiser involved in wreck No charges have been filed in this car wreck involving a police officer that ran into the side of another car. This is completely unlike the time when South Boston police officer Sheng Song ran into the back of my sister's minivan\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "NewsCentral"","block_context":{"text":"NewsCentral","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/newscentral\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9756,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2014\/08\/10\/parking-jerk-of-the-day-8102014\/","url_meta":{"origin":8093,"position":1},"title":"Parking Jerk of the Day! (8\/10\/2014)","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"August 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Wow. The submissions are flowing in for this new feature. If you find a blatant Parking Jerk, take a photo and then click on the Contact Us! link at the top of the page. You'll find our email address there. It's southsidecentral (AT) southsidecentral (dot) com by the way. Feel\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parking Jerk of the Day"","block_context":{"text":"Parking Jerk of the Day","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/featurescentral\/parking-jerk-of-the-day\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/DUCmS74.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/DUCmS74.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/DUCmS74.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/DUCmS74.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7052,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2010\/06\/24\/mr-malvester-teaches-todays-history-lesson\/","url_meta":{"origin":8093,"position":2},"title":"Mr. Malvester teaches today’s history lesson.","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"June 24, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Well, at least his own version of history. Beware trick knowledge of history Wow. After reading that, I feel that I should apologize for my part in keeping the black man down. Of course, that feeling quickly subsided when I realize that Mr. Minister Malvester Muhammed (should I refer to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "NewsCentral"","block_context":{"text":"NewsCentral","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/newscentral\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7293,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2010\/11\/27\/felony-charges-shmelony-charges\/","url_meta":{"origin":8093,"position":3},"title":"Felony charges? Shmelony charges!","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"November 27, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"How much jail time does a person get for \"Felony Assault on a Police Officer\" and \"Felony Assault on a Police Dog\"? Nothing! \"Willow Lane Brawl\" case comes to an end Two \"assault on police\" charges just go away. Interesting... Were the original charges overstated or is this a good\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "NewsCentral"","block_context":{"text":"NewsCentral","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/newscentral\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5897,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2009\/12\/02\/threadspotting-off-with-their-heads-um-pants\/","url_meta":{"origin":8093,"position":4},"title":"ThreadSpotting: “Off With Their Heads…um…Pants?!?!”","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"December 2, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Hey, it's Halifax County's own Pants-Off Dance-Off (without the Dance-Off)! HalifaxTalk: Jeans now being stolen @ HCMS Our Good Friend who called me \"miserable and hateful\" reports in with a shocking, I say, shocking crime report (which turns out to be quite non-shocking and not even a crime report). Our\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "ThreadCentral"","block_context":{"text":"ThreadCentral","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/threadcentral\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12188,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2015\/03\/15\/quickhits-31515\/","url_meta":{"origin":8093,"position":5},"title":"QuickHits! (3\/15\/15)","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"March 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Sunday! QuickHits Day! Let's see what's caught my eye over the past week. QuickHits are placed on a Beautiful Big Board! Henry County ties Danville's 2015 murder count at one. The Oak Ridge Boys are going to have a concert in Rocky Mount on Thursday night. 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