… so says Tom Raab. That makes it official, you know.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
After hitting the $15,000 Jackpot from Halifax County and the towns of South Boston & Halifax, the Virginia Coalition went for more cash at VIR Friday night. $75 got you into the door of “Race To Keep The Ban” (a name that makes no sense because there’s no race at all for that). If you had gone to this soiree, you’d have been treated to the music of Dane Ferguson and the “Improbable Cause” band (now that band’s name would be quite fitting for this group).<\/p>\n
Anytime you’ve got Halifax County’s Anti-Uranium Elite combining with alcohol, you’re bound to get some hilarious quotes. This crowd didn’t let me down on that. Let’s start it off with John Cannon’s quote…<\/p>\n
We have severely wounded our competitor, Virginia Uranium, Inc.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Oh yeah, they’re out there waving the white flag of surrender now. They’re in complete disorganization and had better pack up shop now with the Virginia Coalition attacking them. My eyes. They roll. I do have to remember that he was playing to a captive audience of people who are of his thought process, so I’ll cut him a little slack.<\/p>\n
Best entertainer of the night? Former South Boston town councilman Tom Raab. Raab was apparently channeling the spirit of Jack Dunavant when he let out this doozy…<\/p>\n
The problem with uranium is you won\u2019t see the effects for 30 years. When those 30 years kick in, everybody\u2019s dying.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
That’s it, folks. He’s not a doctor and he doesn’t play one on TV. He’s got absolutely no proof of what he’s talking about… um, because he’s pulling stuff like that out of his butt (or Jack Dunavant’s butt). But hey, if Tom Raab says it, it’s got to be true. You’re going to die. It’s going to start 30 years after uranium mining starts. Now there have been a few holes drilled at Coles Hill for testing purposes, so I’m not quite sure if your 30 year Coffin countdown has already started. Check with him and see if you’ve already got one foot in the grave. If you’re going to cash it in, go buy some of that life insurance that Alex Trebek sells on TV. Trebek is Canadian and uranium mining is in progress there, so he’ll be glad to sell you a policy.<\/p>\n
Now since Raab has that pesky “Unless Proven Safe” part on his No Uranium Mining signs like all the other people who want to look like they’re objective-thinking people, I’m not sure what happens to his theory if it’s indeed Proven Safe. You may want to ask Alex Trebek if there’s a money-back guarantee on that life insurance policy if that happens. I do believe that your Terminal Timeclock keeps ticking, though.<\/p>\n
I’m obliged to point out that you’re on the path to dying once you’re born, but that wouldn’t give me a chance to mock ridiculous statements like Tom Raab said.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
… so says Tom Raab. That makes it official, you know.<\/p>\n
[…]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"You're going to start dying in 30 years...","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[63,20,22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7978","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-halifax-county","category-newscentral","category-opinioncentral","odd"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pwqFk-24G","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4164,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2009\/06\/09\/update-the-foia-concern-with-the-halifax-county-school-board\/","url_meta":{"origin":7978,"position":0},"title":"UPDATE: The FOIA concern with the Halifax County School Board","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"June 9, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"When we talked about this last, I had an issue with the Halifax County School Board not making the entire agenda packet available to the public. Let's go to the next chapter of this story... Based on a conversation that I've had with the Virginia Coalition for Open Government, I've\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "EducationCentral"","block_context":{"text":"EducationCentral","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/educationcentral\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7922,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2013\/09\/27\/hey-john-cannon-chris-lumsden-ted-bennett\/","url_meta":{"origin":7978,"position":1},"title":"Hey John Cannon, Chris Lumsden & Ted Bennett?","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"September 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"If you want $5000 for lobbying purposes, write the damn check yourself instead of trying to get taxpayers' money. Trust me, you won't miss it. IDA delays giving $5,000 to anti-mining organization GAH! This makes my head explode. It's bad enough that this Virginia Coalition group has already tried to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "BusinessCentral"","block_context":{"text":"BusinessCentral","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/businesscentral\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4089,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2009\/06\/04\/halifax-county-school-board-agenda-for-monday-68\/","url_meta":{"origin":7978,"position":2},"title":"Halifax County School Board agenda for Monday (6\/8)","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"June 4, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"What's happening at the Halifax County School Board meeting Monday night? You know where to look.... but we've got a problem with public access to some of their documents and their policy. Read all the way to the end, please. Here's the agenda for Monday's Halifax County School Board meeting.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "EducationCentral"","block_context":{"text":"EducationCentral","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/educationcentral\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22603,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2016\/04\/24\/state-police-statement-on-sunday-mornings-halifax-shooting\/","url_meta":{"origin":7978,"position":3},"title":"State Police Statement on Sunday Morning’s Halifax Shooting","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"April 24, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"SouthsideCentral was the first media source to confirm and publish that a shooting occurred last night at the VFW in Halifax. We are now publishing the full statement from the Virginia State Police for you to read. This is from Virginia State Police Public Relations Director Corinne Geller: The Virginia\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Halifax"","block_context":{"text":"Halifax","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/locations\/halifax\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/0yAV3PH.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6410,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2010\/02\/14\/danville-police-help-out-halifax-county-sheriffs-office\/","url_meta":{"origin":7978,"position":4},"title":"UPDATED: Danville police help out Halifax County Sheriff’s Office","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"February 14, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Teamwork gets a bunch of idiot kids off the road and into jail. UPDATE: We've got the information from the Halifax County Sheriff's Office about how this incident started. From our friends at the Danville Police Department... Danville Police responded to a request for assistance reference a shots fired call\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Danville"","block_context":{"text":"Danville","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/locations\/danville\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4273,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2009\/06\/18\/halifax-county-national-night-out-august-4th\/","url_meta":{"origin":7978,"position":5},"title":"Halifax County National Night Out – August 4th","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"June 18, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"It looks like they have big plans this year... This year, they're moving the event over to the Halifax County Fairgrounds. 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