Police investigate Sunshine Mills spill into Toot’s Creek<\/a><\/p>\nFriends, this is why we have a police department in the town of Halifax. Any citizen who sees something that’s a big enough terrorist threat like people carrying haybales are able to call the police department to get that investigated immediately! (Side note: Just remember when haybales are outlawed, only outlaws will carry haybales.) Luckily for the town of Halifax, a police officer was available to take the call without any delay, speed to the scene, cross the railroad tracks without hitting the crossing gates and then promptly got this dangerous situation under control.<\/p>\n
Now this wasn’t handled by just any Halifax police officer, it was handled by the acting chief himself. I completely agree that haybales being tossed in a creek is a situation where you need the top brass of the department to supervise the crime scene. In this case, the acting chief handled the delicate situation himself which is even more impressive.<\/p>\n
The G-V mentions in the lead paragraph that the substance was “organic human-grade fat” so I’m wondering if Soylent Green is Dog Food? Anyway, the “oraganic human-grade fat” was quickly identified as people are quite accustomed to seeing a lot of human-grade fat walking in the area.<\/p>\n
Your final lesson in today’s article is that anytime you ever see “a swirling brown mass on top of the water” that “might stink”, only call the police if there are haybales involved. Otherwise, it just may be a Baby Ruth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Oopsie. I didn’t punctuate that headline correctly so I’ll try again. “Look at the fat, Halifax police officer!”<\/p>\n
[…]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[62,11,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-halifax","category-humorcentral","category-newscentral","odd"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pwqFk-1Ym","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6556,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2010\/03\/12\/log-truck-overturns-in-halifax\/","url_meta":{"origin":7586,"position":0},"title":"Log truck overturns in Halifax","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"March 12, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Five hours of traffic rerouting. What a mess. From our friends at the Town of Halifax Police Department... On March 12th at 6:49 am, Officers from the Halifax Police Department, Halifax County Sheriff's Office, Virginia State Police and the Halifax Fire Department responded to 1035 Mountain Road in Halifax to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Halifax"","block_context":{"text":"Halifax","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/locations\/halifax\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5839,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2009\/11\/17\/halifax-police-dept-round-up\/","url_meta":{"origin":7586,"position":1},"title":"Halifax Police Dept. round-up","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"November 17, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Let's head to the town of Halifax and see what's going on with their police department... From our friends at the Halifax Police Department... On November 16th at 1:30 pm, Lt. D. D. Irby investigated a 2 vehicle collision that occurred in front of 5301 Halifax Road. A 2001 Chevrolet\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Halifax"","block_context":{"text":"Halifax","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/locations\/halifax\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5866,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2009\/11\/21\/norfolk-southern-train-gets-stuck-on-halifax-tracks\/","url_meta":{"origin":7586,"position":2},"title":"Norfolk-Southern train gets stuck on Halifax tracks","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"November 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm sure that the Town of Halifax police department and the Halifax County Sheriff's Department had better things to do than deal with this. From our friends at the Halifax Police Department... Saturday at 8:49 am, police responded to the railroad crossing on South Main Street in Halifax for traffic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Halifax"","block_context":{"text":"Halifax","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/locations\/halifax\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5371,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2009\/09\/21\/halifax-pd-has-a-successful-safety-seat-check\/","url_meta":{"origin":7586,"position":3},"title":"Halifax PD has a successful Safety Seat Check","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"September 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"There are very few things that actually can be the difference between life and death. Thumbs Up to the Halifax Police Department for taking the time to help make a difference. The Halifax Police Department took part in the National Child Safety Seat Check this past Saturday at the Town\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Halifax"","block_context":{"text":"Halifax","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/locations\/halifax\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5249,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2009\/09\/08\/town-of-halifax-police-roundup\/","url_meta":{"origin":7586,"position":4},"title":"UPDATED: Town of Halifax Police Roundup","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"September 8, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"(Originally Published on: Sep 7, 2009 @ 22:29) UPDATE #1: Photos of vandalism added. Let's head to the Town of Halifax and see what the police department has going on... On September 3rd at 2:20 pm, Halifax Police Lt. D. D. Irby responded to Wilco at 391 S. Main Street\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Halifax"","block_context":{"text":"Halifax","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/locations\/halifax\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4273,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2009\/06\/18\/halifax-county-national-night-out-august-4th\/","url_meta":{"origin":7586,"position":5},"title":"Halifax County National Night Out – August 4th","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"June 18, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"It looks like they have big plans this year... This year, they're moving the event over to the Halifax County Fairgrounds. The Halifax County Sheriff's Department, South Boston Police Department, Town of Halifax Police Department and the Virginia State Police will be the hosts for the event that gives \"residents\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "EventsCentral"","block_context":{"text":"EventsCentral","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/eventscentral\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7586"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7589,"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7586\/revisions\/7589"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}