Teen saved on N.C. beach after being buried in sand<\/a><\/p>\nI was watching “Weekend at Bernie’s” for the 17th time when I read this article. Of course, the kid was covering Bernie with sand. This article instantly became 60% funnier. \ud83d\ude00 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It’s been over a month since we’ve had one of these? Let’s fix this problem right now.<\/p>\n
[…]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humorcentral","odd"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pwqFk-1jR","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12724,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2015\/05\/17\/photocentral-festival-in-the-park-2015-part-10\/","url_meta":{"origin":5075,"position":0},"title":"PhotoCentral: Festival in the Park \u2013 2015 \u2013 Part #10","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"May 17, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"We've finally made it to Crafters' Row at the 2015 Festival in the Park. Let's take a look at what was for sale this year. Here\u2019s the recap of what we\u2019ve published so far: Part #1 \u2013 Part #2 \u2013 Part #3 \u2013 Part #4 \u2013 Part #5 \u2013 Part\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Danville"","block_context":{"text":"Danville","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/locations\/danville\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/UH8LRnY.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/UH8LRnY.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/UH8LRnY.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/UH8LRnY.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23571,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2016\/04\/28\/the-little-mermaid-jr-part-3\/","url_meta":{"origin":5075,"position":1},"title":"“The Little Mermaid Jr.” – Part #3","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"April 28, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"We're moving along with our PhotoCentral article series on the North Star Theatre Project and their upcoming production at Danville's Historic North Theatre! Disney's \"The Little Mermaid Jr.\" is about ready to premiere. Shows are this coming Friday & Saturday (4\/29 & 4\/30) at 7:30 PM and a Sunday (5\/1)\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "ArtsCentral"","block_context":{"text":"ArtsCentral","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/artscentral\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/bYqhfoN.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/bYqhfoN.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/bYqhfoN.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/bYqhfoN.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12698,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2015\/05\/16\/photocentral-festival-in-the-park-2015-part-1\/","url_meta":{"origin":5075,"position":2},"title":"PhotoCentral: Festival in the Park – 2015 – Part #1","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"May 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"It's time for Danville's 41st annual Festival in the Park. Here's a quick review for you. \"GO!\" They've moved things around to make it work better and there's plenty to see and do. Budget yourself two hours for a solo trip and at least 4 hours for a family. Saturday\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Danville"","block_context":{"text":"Danville","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/locations\/danville\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/pjKhu9g.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/pjKhu9g.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/pjKhu9g.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/pjKhu9g.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5953,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2009\/12\/09\/dumbass-of-the-day-129\/","url_meta":{"origin":5075,"position":3},"title":"Dumbass of the Day! (12\/9)","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"December 9, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"The heroin may have been fake, but his jail time is quite real. Man gets 9 months for selling imitation heroin Later investigators discovered that the white brown substance was sand and baking powder that Payne mixed together. Dumbass. :D","rel":"","context":"In "NewsCentral"","block_context":{"text":"NewsCentral","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/newscentral\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12703,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2015\/05\/16\/photocentral-festival-in-the-park-2015-part-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":5075,"position":4},"title":"PhotoCentral: Festival in the Park – 2015 – Part #2","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"May 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"It's time for Part #2 in our PhotoCentral series about Danville's Festival in the Park. Here's the link to Part #1. We're making our way from the sand sculpture area to the kids' rides section. Let's roll. Two PhotoCentral articles down, and plenty to go. See you Saturday and Sunday\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Danville"","block_context":{"text":"Danville","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/locations\/danville\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/GQqXgua.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/GQqXgua.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/GQqXgua.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/GQqXgua.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":28223,"url":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/2016\/05\/24\/danvilles-2016-festival-in-the-park-part-11\/","url_meta":{"origin":5075,"position":5},"title":"Danville’s 2016 Festival in the Park – Part #11","author":"SouthsideCentral","date":"May 24, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"We'll wrap up the business section and head to Crafter's Row in Part #11 of our PhotoCentral series about Danville's Festival in the Park. Thanks for looking at the photos! Here's the links to the other articles in this series: Part #1 - Part #2 - Part #3 - Part\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Danville"","block_context":{"text":"Danville","link":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/category\/locations\/danville\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/AqNZXEY.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/AqNZXEY.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/AqNZXEY.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.imgur.com\/AqNZXEY.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5075"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5075\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.southsidecentral.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}