Susan Dalton has something to say in today’s YouCentral article. This was originally published in the Danville Register & Bee as a “Letter to the Editor”, but we are running the unedited version.
The Civil Rights Movement brought racial inequalities into the open and once seen could not be unseen. We were educated on the realities of our prejudices and while inequalities still exist there have been huge strides in the right direction.
There is another injustice that is emerging into the mainstream and I couldn’t believe that I had been a part of it. “Rape Culture.” There it is, I said it.
If you don’t think this is a topic that should be discussed in polite society, then you are a part of it. if you feel uncomfortable saying “rape” or if you have ever said “she shouldn‘t have been wearing those shorts,” you are a part of it. It may be due to how we were influenced growing up but just like racial intolerance, it‘s something we have to change.
I have become an advocate to end Rape Culture because in the past year I have been touched by a jaw-dropping, cannot-believe-this-is-happening-in-such-an-enlightened-society, punish-the-victim situation that still has me shaking my head in disbelief. There was a time when I actually caught myself thinking, “It’s such a shame because his life could be ruined.” What? How could that thought possibly have entered my head? It really sneaks up on you because society trivializes and normalizes rape. Instead of saying “boys will be boys” perhaps we should be teaching our boys that sexual assault isn‘t OK.
The only saving grace is that sexual assault would never be treated as insignificant by our educational systems, right? Wrong! There is a pervasive problem in the American educational system. Just go online and do a little research: I promise you will be amazed.
l have seen first hand where a young girl, who had polygraph evidence of a forcible sexual assault at school, was punished while her attacker was placed back into school. While polygraph results may not be legally admissible, it is certainly compelling proof that this child was not a willing participant. This was in our fair city, people! You can’t believe it? Neither could I. How could this happen? Good question. Did the school system ever give an explanation to the parents of this victim? Nope. Were they asked to provide an explanation? Yes. If you think this is an isolated incident then educate yourself. Don’t be a part of a culture that condones this behavior. Why am I finally taking a stand? Take two. Yes, unbelievable isn‘t it?
What can we do? I don’t know… maybe make consent training a part of sex education. Let’s at least start a conversation. The first step is to see the problem so that it can never be unseen again.
Susan Dalton
Danville, VA
YouCentral articles are solely the opinion of the author.
Wow! Great letter. It is true that we must have a discussion on this issue. There are too many reports of rape in our colleges that go unpunished. Why do these young men think it is okay to do this? No means yes cause you look so good and made me want you. The guys and I wanted some fun and we we know you liked it. Attitude is everything. Respect, people don’t have it any more. For too long we lived in a male dominated society where women were not considered equal. We still allow women be paid less for equal work. Politicians make remarks about women that show their lack of respect for them. It has to be stopped. Shootings in schools is getting a lot of attention these days and many are adding precautions to try to stop it from happening in their school. Why then have rapes on campus not been given such immediate attention? Yes it is past time for discussion on this issue. Rape is not acceptable. No means no.
There is a lot of bad mojo in danville city schools. Something really bad is going to happen. It is being hidden from thepublic. PRoblems from bonner from last year are now at gwhs. Almost daily fights . One so bad the man in charge couldn’t handle it so he called the police to get order. 2 arrested and hauled off in cuffs . One allowed to go on as normal because he is a football player and gw is in the playoffs. He is being preparedto to go to unc or Florida state where rules don’t apply to athletes.
Man in charge then sent an email and on the phone chain explained there was a fight, order quickly restored, and all is well.
All is not well! The school board should be aware of this but igore it. Referrals are down because the man in charge won’t allow them and overrule them when The assisantprincipAL disciplinesb bad behaviour.
One assistant is being reassigned because he tries to make things better at gwhs. It is a shame.
When guns are found on campus in other school systems, it makes the news.
Danville has a good ole boy system. And at school board meetings the members pat each other on the back saying what a great job they are doing.
Danville school board is failing the citizens of danville . Danville deserves better.
Thanks for your comments Shelia. You are so right that women are still not considered equal in this male dominated society, however this is not simply a one sided issue. I believe you will agree we have all been influenced from childhood and many times the comments about how a victim looks come from women. Regrettably, I am guilty myself. It is difficult to snap out of a lifetime of generational judgment. Now I have made it my mission to bring this issue to light and hope others will recognize any evidence of Rape Culture in their own consciousness.
It’s incredible how deep this problem goes in our society. I recently watched an episode of “48 Hours” where a student in a mid-western high school was raped by a star football player after the two of them smoked marijuana. The vast majority of the school, including the teachers, turned on her and it went as far as death threats! Many felt she was asking for it or deserved what she got because she had smoked marijuana with him. What?? Her family had to move to escape the backlash of senseless hatred because this child and her family were demanding justice for this violent act.
The situation I highlight in my letter happened in Middle School…. Middle School !!!!! This child’s family had no advocate in the school system and in fact had to retain legal counsel. To say that this child was more harshly punished for the incident is simply crazy because why in the hell was this child punished at all?!!!! She was sexually assaulted! Oh yes, it was a he said, she said alright, not even a polygraph was convincing enough. What is wrong with us?
You are right Sheila, this issue deserves the same attention as shooting in schools. Violence is voilence, whether it’s shooting or raping someone. When we can say “rape” in conversation as easily as we can say “murder,” then maybe the conversation will really get going.
Sexual assault UVA: http://www.msnbc.com/alex-witt/watch/uva-fraternities-suspended-for-rest-of-year-362474051909?CID=SM_FB
More on the UVA sexual assault news: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/11/25/uva_gang_rape_allegations_in_rolling_stone_not_surprising_to_one_associate.html